Fam, hear me out

A brief appeal plus two great songs.

A couple months ago, I had the best coffee drink I’ve ever had. It was an orange cardamom latte from a little shop called Black Oak in wine country, Northern California. The sticker shock, however, still has me reeling, because I was a completely innocent bystander. I simply read the chalkboard, listing seasonal specials with no pricing anywhere in sight, told the barista, “That one sounds good,” and she rang me up for $8.50. Good Lord, that’s an expensive coffee.

I’m not a huge coffee drinker; having a special coffee is exceptional. But I’m seeing a trend. I cannot find a good coffee drink for under $6. Anywhere. Why am I talking about the price of coffee? Because it’s one way to approach a conversation about what we value and what we’re willing to pay for. Evidently, once in a while, I’m willing to pay $6 for an Americano with oat milk. (That $8.50 was non-consensual.)

I’ve seen more than one non-profit campaign assert, “For the price of a cup of coffee, you can help our cause…” And over the years, I’ve given to the ones I value. You probably have too. I am not a non-profit. But I have given away my writing for free, for decades. From blogging days, to Instagram, and now to Substack, you can access it for free.

What I’m staring hard at are these two dots and the blurred line between them: whether I value my own writing enough to ask for pay, and whether other people value it enough to pay for it. Someone advised me, “You just have to start pay-walling everything.” The suggestion landed like a greasy meal in my stomach. I don’t know if it’s because I’m personally not often able to afford subscriptions to writers’ sites I very much value, or if I simply never want money to be a barrier to encouragement for those who need it most. I don’t want to paywall everything. And I won’t. Unless I have to, since I am trying to survive out here, being single, with kids in college, and and and. You know. (How do I say I’m struggling without saying I’m struggling?)

My direct request is this: if you are someone who can support Small Affairs for the monthly price of an Americano with oatmilk, then I can keep my writing free for everyone else. If you can upgrade to a paid subscription, the biggest benefit will be passed down to those who can’t. If you can gift a subscription to someone else, they will probably be so grateful.

If you’re like me and can’t afford to pay for writing that you sincerely value — if your resources and what you value don’t always align for you either — I get it. Please don’t feel any pressure. If you do have those resources, then feel the tiniest bit of pressure, like a squeeze of hands as we stand together around this community because that’s what community does.

This is what I hope you hear loudest. I read a lot of Substacks, and I don’t see many communities of readers as engaged and loyal as you guys. I ADORE you, and I hang on your thoughtful input, reflections, and conversations started in the comments. You are kind, generous of spirit, open-hearted, curious, and often, the things you say bring me to tears. Your engagement is what makes this whole space work so beautifully. Group hug.

If you’re at a place to do so, here’s how you can upgrade (or subscribe for the first time)…

If you know of someone who could use encouragement, here’s how you can send a gift of Small Affairs to someone else…

If you don’t want a $6 monthly charge coming up on your account, if you click on “Subscribe now,” there is an option to determine your own, one-time contribution, and in exchange, you will get an annual subscription.

Thank you for considering supporting me and my writing. Or just me as a human. I’m so very grateful.

You are the Beloved.

Leslie

(keep scrolling for a new thing)

I’m going to start dropping songs I can’t stop listening to at the end of my essays because music is one way I practice intentionally connecting to my heart.

Here are two songs on my Spotify ‘favorites’ list that have the same title! They are on theme with the photos above and embody my general summer vibes. Check out this one and this one. Feel free to dance in the car. In fact, I highly encourage it, remember?